Saturday, April 15, 2006
Okie Dokie well my pregnancy test was negative again this morning. Which makes sense because my period started 2 hours later!
Oh well on to a new cycle!! So I am waiting for my Clomid to come but with the Easter holiday I don't think it will arrive in time. So most likely I will be taking soy again this cycle and saving the Clomid for the next. I think the soy did work because I really do believe I ovulated on it. I thought I was taking 120 MG of it but realized I was supposed to be taking 2 pills for every 40 MG so really I was only taking 80 MG. So I may try 120 MG this cycle and see what happens.
For those of you who don't know, soy is supposed to work very similarly to Clomid and there have been some women who Clomid didn't work for but soy did. So that's why I've been giving it a try.
Ok off to update my chart! I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend and a very Happy Easter!!
Hugs!
Stacie
4/15/2006 08:38:00 AM |
Friday, April 14, 2006
** Update **
Ok well I worked up the courage to just go and test. I heard you are supposed to wait at least 4 hours for enough HCG to build up before testing but I figured I would just go ahead and do it. When I was pregnant with Savannah it was like 5 pm and I did not even want to take the test. Her dad was insisting so I just went and took it to shut him up. Go figure it came up positive right away.
So anyway this test was another BFN and I am really ok. I did a lot better than I thought I would. I have one more test and I will test in the morning just to be sure but I am now totally sure that we are not pregnant and it will be ok to start the Clomid as long as it arrives in time.
I am anxious now to start a new cycle and just pray the Clomid arrives in time!
Hugs!
Stacie
4/14/2006 06:07:00 PM |
OMG can you believe I'm scared to test??????
Ok so I get up at 4:30 this morning and I am half asleep and dying to pee and very aware I am supposed to test. I rolled over and decided I wasn't awake enough to try and POAS (pee on a stick). Is anyone good at this? I hate trying to pee on the darn thing, sorry if this is TMI but I always seem to miss the stick and end up with a wet hand if you know what I mean. GROSS! So anyway I prefer to use a little cup and dip the thing but then I remembered I was out of little plastic cups in my bathroom. So I decided to just pee and go back to bed and test when I got up.
Well I got back up again at 6:30 to take Alex to work. Normally I am not up until after 7 to get Savannah off to school but she has no school today. So I have promised to take the 3 kids swimming at the Rec-Plex. It's going to be a high of 90 here today.
Anyway so I get up and think about testing but then decide since it's only been 2 hours since I last went that it was too early to test. I needed to go at least 4 hours with out peeing before I can test.
Then on my ride back from dropping Alex I realize how lame my excuses were. I realized the truth is I am SCARED to POAS!!! Seriously folks this may sound dumb but I am! See since I already believe I am not pregnant and that we're going to have to do another cycle I have made some peace with it. However the actual ritual of taking yet another pregnancy test will somehow make me forget that peace. It will fill me with the nervous excitement of "what if I am???" and when I see the negative result it will fill me with sadness. Which sounds strange since I am expecting a negative result anyway.
Ugh I feel like such a baby. If you are thinking the same thing it's ok LOL. I am sure you are like OMG just go and TEST already woman!
I'm telling you this whole TTC thing is a roller coaster ride and I hate roller coasters!
Soooooo if I can manage to hold my pee for 4 hours at some point today I will try and talk myself into testing. If not it's being rescheduled (LOL) for tomorrow morning. At least tomorrow I could wake Alex up for some moral support instead of testing alone. It's nice to have him here if I need to cry afterwards. Last weekend I had to wait until the following morning to cry. It's like I needed him to be with me when I cried or something.
Poor guy, I have such awful mood swings and he gets the worst of it. He has no idea how much I appreciate him and love him. I need to do something nice for him I think.
Any ideas???
Hugs and baby dust!
Stacie
4/14/2006 06:00:00 AM |
Wednesday, April 12, 2006
Well as per many requests I have my new blog up and running. I hope everyone likes the layout! I thought I'd like something nice and simple. I saw this picture and decided the name Belly Envy would fit this blog very nicely LOL. I haven't tried a tag board in a long time but I've added one to this blog. If I don't experience alot of downtime with it then it can stay lol. Feel free to leave me a message and let me know you stopped by!
Anyway now for an update!!
It's not the update I wanted to be posting but an update just the same! So far all my tests have been BFN's (big fat negatives). Now I did test earlier than recommended but I'm not holding out much hope that a negative test at 16 days past ovulation is going to turn somehow positive by waiting a few more days but ya never know, right? I am supposed to be testing in the morning but have decided to wait until Friday morning.
Now since we're thinking we didn't get pregnant this cycle I've been taking progesterone to bring on my period. Of course if I was pregnant my period won't come but I think it will. We've decided to give Clomid a shot this cycle. That is if it arrives in time. I ordered it online to save some money but didn't realize it would take 14 to 21 days to arrive so it might not arrive in time for me to take it. I am supposed to take it cycle day 3 to 7 so if it's not here by the 3rd day of my period I guess I could shoot for cycle days 5 to 9 (I know other women who take it these days) or I'll have to try soy again and wait until next month for the Clomid.
I have begun to notice that when you are TTC it seems like everyone else around you is getting pregnant. I know at least 8 women right now who are pregnant. I just noticed yesterday my sister-in-law is starting to show. She's 14 weeks along now with her 3rd baby. We used to have in common that we only had one child each and they were 6 months apart. Then last year of course she gave birth to Maddie and now baby Logan is on the way. Well Logan if the Dr's predictions on her 14 week ultrasound were correct. He said he thought he'd know for certain by 16 weeks.
It's not even that I feel like I am jealous but it's more like a deep ache in my heart. Like I am missing out on something that I long to be a part of. I love Savannah to pieces and she is why I long to have more children. I want to have KIDS! Lots of them running around making me a tired and crazy but happy mommy ya know? I want to waddle again because my belly is so heavy with a baby inside and feel the wonderful kicks and moves again.
Alex keeps trying to remind me that like our ticker over to the left says we've only been trying officially since February. It's not true though, we've been unofficially trying since March 2005. This was our first cycle trying since I was diagnosed with PCOS and got on my meds and stuff. So I guess to him the count started all over again lol.
Seriously though I have broken down a cried a few times this cycle. The pregnancy tests are the hardest part for me and the not knowing during the 2 week wait from ovulation. Then it makes me feel like a big baby because I know some women who go through this for years and years before they get pregnant. I told Alex that I'm scared I am not strong enough for that. I never realized trying for a baby could be so emotionally hard. That I would begin to examine parts of my body I never thought I would and pay so much attention to things that come out of this body. It's ironic to think about the times I used birth control and the times I prayed I wasn't pregnant.
Anyway that's all the news for now. I'll post again Friday morning and let everyone know what the result was. Thank you for all the support!!
Hugs and Baby dust!
Stacie
4/12/2006 02:20:00 PM |
